CRJ #9
I have always been disgusted by the idea that women were property and Miranda Kennedy’s essay, “Cheaper than a Cow”, develops many of the key arguments against the idea of owning women. History, traditions, and even our constitution are plagued with examples of women being treated as property. In a wedding, the father gives away his daughter, a symbolic gesture of a prized possession behind handed from one owner to the next. At the end of a wedding s the couple are pronounced “man and wife”, the woman being now a possession of her husband. In Kennedy’s essay, young Indian girls are sold at auctions to men seeking wives, slaves, or someone to dominate. These poor families are willing to lose their daughters for less than the price of a cow. While this seems unbelievable from an American viewpoint; females are not seen in the same light in India. Kennedy reports that there is a dramatic decrease in the Indian women population due to female fetus abortions and female infanticide. Females are seen as a burden to the underprivileged families due to the custom of dowrys. The custom of dowrys itself is an insult to women and their role as a member of the family. These young ladies are treated as not humans, not loved ones, but as properties, as a chore that must be properly dealt with before the men of the family can proceed with more important business. The irony in this is that women are vital to the continuation of the family, but for some reason this fact is overlooked. The only time women seem to be of emotional and family value is when producing sons. While India is trying to fight this through limiting ultrasounds to be performed only for medical reason, not to determine the sex of the fetus, and technically outlawing the trade of women for slavery, the culture is finding loopholes. The only way to stop these destructive and discriminating practices would be to get the culture to become more accepting of women.
Judith Warner discusses the twisted image of women and motherhood in a western culture in her essay, “The Myth of the Perfect Mother”. As technology, education, and general lifestyles progress through time life is supposed to become seemingly easier. This is not the case in motherhood. Mothers today are suffering from a strain of trying to provide a stable, healthy environment for their children, balancing a full time job, and saving enough alone/couple time to not have their relationships crumble and prevent the onset of insanity. There is the notion in modern society that it us up to the woman in a relationship to do all the nurturing, teaching, developing, and every other task related to the general upbringing of the children in the family. It is up to the mother to make sure that her children are ready for the world. This task becomes more challenging every year; it is now becoming critical that mothers find the right preschool, the right music instructors, the right childcare, all in the hopes of placing their child higher on the development curve. Why is this task left to mothers? Because of the proclaimed gender oriented family roles. Men are responsible for the economic stability. Women are in charge of the home. While these may have been an even split in some family scenarios it is becoming more drastically unfair towards women every day. As the cost of living rises, more women are required to work full time jobs, which can cause strains in the home life. Warner reports that on average fathers work fifty-one hours a week and mothers work forty-one. Also with school systems in shambles across the United States, parents need to take a more dominate hand in their children’s education in order to insure that it is a good one. It is society that creates the myth of a perfect mother that can magically handle all the pressures. It is also society and government that holds the key to the solutions. Corporations need to have family friendly policies, government should mandate increased child care standards at preschools and daycares, and there needs to be affordable day care available to all families. There are some programs already in place through welfare, WIC, and other local organizations but they are not enough. My sister is currently raising three children on a single salary of less than twenty-five thousand dollars a year, but she is seen as too wealthy for any financial assistance. And it’s not even just the poor that need help; child care is extremely hard to find and unaffordable to the middle class as well. Society needs to start helping everyone in this field before there is an epidemic of insanity among mothers.
Charlene Gornes tackles the challenges homosexual couples face when trying to establish a family in her essay, “Partners as Parents”. Obviously their first struggle is in the pathways to parenthood. Naturally it is impossible between the pair; therefore they must reach out to alternatives including surrogate mothers and sperm donors. These pathways do not lead to guaranteed results, which have many parents facing adoption. The adoption system in most states is designed against homosexual couples. By not having a form of binding contract between them, homosexual face even harder legal battles when it comes to raising children. Often times in custody trials courts rule against homosexual parents due to the notion that a child raised by a gay parent will grow up tormented or become gay themselves. Also since there are no legal binds between the couple in cases of death and separation it is hard to decide who should get custody of the children or how the children should receive inheritance. There are no statistics or evidence to show that children brought up in a homosexual household will be more likely to become homosexual than those brought up in heterosexual households, yet there is still a lingering rumor that this is the case. Also there is no evidence that sexual orientation will alter how one parents a child. Society needs to learn to be more accepting of individuals and stand by the values that everyone has equal rights.
